The Dash.

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning..to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears, 1964-1994
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth..
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars..the house..the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you”d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what”s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we”ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy”s being read
With your life”s actions to rehash..
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash? 

You may not be pushing me away, but you're not fighting to keep me either...

A Little Story I Was Told Once Upon A Time

“I wish you enough”

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter’s departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said: “I wish you enough.”The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.” They kissed and the daughter left.The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?””I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said.

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”

She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

“When we said ‘I wish you enough’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them”. Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.”

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.

Missing this little fella.

Its always about priorities I guess.

Theres A Million Reasons Why I Should Give You Up.

But the heart wants what it wants.

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try - Pink 

Who Knows Any More

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” 
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

one night

I've made enough mistakes in my life to admit I'm a fuck up most of the time, and I regret some of the mistakes but some of them I've learnt from. But I regret one night in particular more than anything, One stupid drunken fucking night, that I don't even remember, and I was stupid and Dumb and pathetic and confused and did I mention stupid? so fucking stupid. It screwed up so much. so much. and i'm so so sorry from the bottom of my heart

what are you looking for? will you always look for more? is it never good enough? Am I never good enough?  "guitar instremental " of course not stupid me.

Feeling pretty pointless.

10 THINGS THAT MATTER MORE

1. I am breathing
2. There is food in my fridge and a roof over my head and clothes In my closet
3. The world is much bigger than this town
4. I'll be out there soon enough
5. I have not lost hope
6. There are millions of books that I've yet to read
7. Someone has it much, much worse
8. Someone just died...and again...
9. A child was born in this moment...and again...
10. I can name someone who loves me  

I have never been so scared in my life.

I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash all the pain
And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake

I may be no one special to anyone, but I sure as hell am going to do something incredible with my life.

If You Want To Change The World...Love A Man

If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him.
Find the one whose eyes are like blazing suns,
that make you look away the first time,
that pierce right through you,
blinding you to everything but the moment,
melting you into a puddle of soft pastel light,
even though you cringe at the color, pink.

The one who stops your thinking,
who sends your lashes fluttering
and all the blood rushing to your cheeks.
The slow-to-speak-one,
whose smile is like a flute,
who summons honey bee songs,
blossom songs and morning bird songs
with his listening.

The fallen-sky-one with the mark on his back,
where he lost his feathers from flying too close to a star.

The broken one in search of his wings,
who tells you the story of how to make fire.

If you want to change the world, love a man
beyond your fear of being burned.

Beyond unforgiveness and the walls you’ve built
to protect your sovereignity and anonymity.

Love him beyond old wounds and lies
you believed to be truth,
the hole in your heart from an absent father,
the scar on your sacred flower left by thieves.

Beyond past lives and the memory
you keep like a shrine to betrayal
when you fell to your knees in the ashes of your village,
and love became a field of bones.

Lift your darkened face to him who stands before you.
Take his hand and let him raise you to your feet.

Trust him to hold you as you tremble and weep in his arms for all that has been lost and found in this holy instant.

If you want to change the world, love a man
Beyond your faithlessness
and your secret hatred of humanity
Beyond all your judgment and self righteous projection.

The stone on your heart is as ancient
as the thought that you had to deny His existence
to know your power.

You are no less God than you ever were.
Man is no more guilty than Woman is innocent.

Love him for bearing the burden of desire in his sex
so your temple could remain whole unto itself-
for taking on the split aspect of mind
that seemed to abandon the oneness of heaven
so that you might know the joy of Its extension.

Love the ecstatic, primal root
castrated by religion as the root of all evil-
the channel of divine creative impulse-
that sparks the seeds of life, death and birth
from the womb of space and time.

Love the humble guardian and warrior
Man has been to Woman
even as he hunts her,
even in his drive towards self gratification,
which ultimately is the portal to soul union.

Love the violator who holds the mirror
to everything you have disowned within yourself-
so that all your desire, your creative impulse
may be freed
from the chains of separation, lack and guilt
and you can finally trust your Self.

If you want to change the world, love a man
in all his instinctual animal nature,
in all his hunger and devotion to beauty.

Love him beyond your vanity and pridefulness,
your gilded possessiveness and need to special-
beyond your well thought out conditions for safety
and all your concepts of how a man
should be in relationship.

Love him beyond your anger at not getting your way,
beyond your terror of not knowing or being in control.

Love him in his relentless pursuit
to penetrate the deepest sanctuaries within you,
that hold the chaos of your strongest emotions,
your carefully guarded secrets of separation
between light and dark, virgin and whore,
man and woman, spirit and form.

Love him for opening the door to sensuality,
to your primordial self that is beyond duality,
for binding you to pleasure
even as the air closes in around you,
even as you writhe with madness,
cursing your incarnation as the enemy-
even as you contract and claw,
crying out in despair, such joy it brings.

Love him for not yielding
to your resistance to surrender-
for standing in his masculine power
even as you threaten to destroy him.

If you want to change the world, love your man
for leaving you to live his purpose,
whether it’s for a day, a week, months or years.

Love him for breaking his own heart over and over-
for holding the tension and balance
of polarity and intimacy,
of distance and closeness.

Love his need for silence and solace-
for keeping some of his mystery to himself-
not that he has anything to hide,
but so you will always have surprises!

Love his evolutionary nature
that seeks new experiences,
that can never be satisfied-
for his boundless curiosity,
that if allowed to be free
might be your own liberation
from complacency.

Love him for shining independently
from the seat of his own majesty-
for not needing, yet choosing you
from a place of knowing his magnificence.

Love him for being your patient direction and destiny-
for returning to you
your own brightness through the dark night-
for helping you to remember
the one and only relationship you’ve ever had
and tried to forget-
for bringing you to that vulnerable, powerless
abiding place of surrender
you’ve been afraid of and waiting for all your life-
where you can finally be consumed by Love-
where you can finally be claimed by God.

I Love This One Too <3

If You Want To Change The World... Love A Woman.

If you want to change the world… love a woman-really love her.
Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense.
Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen.
Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing-
every winged one, every furry and scaled one,
every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one,
every not yet born and dying one…
Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life.
If you haven’t heard your own name yet, you haven’t listened long enough.
If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet,
you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.

If you want to change the world… love a woman-one woman
beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason,
beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and variety
and all your superficial concepts of freedom.
We have given ourselves so many choices
we have forgotten that true liberation
comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire
and burning through our resistance to Love.
There is only one Goddess.
Look into Her eyes and see-really see
if she is the one to bring the axe to your head.
If not, walk away. Right now.
Don’t waste time “trying.”
Know that your decision has nothing to do with her
because ultimately it’s not with who,
but when we choose to surrender.

If you want to change the world… love a woman.
Love her for life-beyond your fear of death,
beyond your fear of being manipulated
by the Mother inside your head.
Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her.
Say you’re willing to LIVE with her,
plant trees with her and watch them grow.
Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty,
by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess
through your adoration and devotion.

If you want to change the world… love a woman
in all her faces, through all her seasons
and she will heal you of your schizophrenia-
your double-mindedness and half-heartedness
which keeps your Spirit and body separate-
which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Self
for something to make your life worth living.
There will always be another woman.
Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one
and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars,
trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire.
Man doesn’t need any more choices.
What man needs is Woman, the Way of the Feminine,
of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing,
of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots
strong enough to hold the Earth together
while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin.

If you want to change the world… love a woman, just one woman .
Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel.
Love her through her fear of abandonment
which she has been holding for all of humanity.
No, the wound is not hers to heal alone.
No, she is not weak in her codependence.

If you want to change the world… love a woman
all the way through
until she believes you,
until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion,
her wildness have returned to her-
until she is a force of love more powerful
than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her.

If you want to change the world,
lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs.
Lay down your inner war, your righteous anger
and love a woman…
beyond all of your striving for greatness,
beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment.
The holy grail stands before you
if you would only take her in your arms
and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy.

What if peace is a dream which can only be re-membered
through the heart of Woman?
What if a man’s love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine
is the key to opening Her heart?

If you want to change the world…love a woman
to the depths of your shadow,
to the highest reaches of your Being,
back to the Garden where you first met her,
to the gateway of the rainbow realm
where you walk through together as Light as One,
to the point of no return,
to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth.

I Love This So Much. 

I want to change the world
I want to impact it so deep
That I reach the core
I want to change the meaning of peace
To something permanent
I want to open doors
And shut out doubt
I want the past to dissolve
It makes my ears bleed
Mistakes linked in memory
Times so hard the world shakes in its boots

I want to change the world
The sun rises and then sets
But leaves its mark before it goes
It creates life and growth
The moon brings serenity and mystery
Both bring death too
I want the growth to shine through
But erase the death
I want to change the world
But I would not dare change the past

 

If you ever fall straight to the bottom.

I wanna see you run
Anywhere you want
Never let the darkness hold you back
No fear of getting lost
I wanna see you fly
Way beyond the sun
Anything you're ever gonna dream
I pray that it will come
But if you ever fall down straight to the bottom
And you can't get back where you started
Any place any time
You gotta know for you I'll fight 

I wish that life was fair
Don't wanna see you cry
Even when it rains
And I hope you don't forget this
You were born for better things

I genuinely can't wait for the day when I have my own little family.

Our lives are so busy and sometimes we live so far from our families. We miss the relationships with our families and often we do not even share important life events with them. We need to move back towards our families. If not in actual distance then at least we must move closer in our hearts. We live in a time where there are unprecedented communication possibilities. No one will ever love us unconditionally like our family can. We'd be fools not to take advantage of this opportunity.

one little phone call is all it takes to spiral my world out of control, I made it perfectly clear that I never wanted to talk or see you again, I wanted you to rot somewhere hellish. But not you've ruined that one request. Why would you do that to me? I just wanted one thing in this world.

I fear the word goodbye so much. I hate it.  Nothing good has ever come from a goodbye, at least not for me anyway.

“I can’t do this anymore. All you do is constantly hurt me, and I don’t think you’ll ever care about me as much as I care about you. I can’t wait around for you only when you’re feeling lonely. You have to want me all a once or not at all.” - The Diary. 

You're afraid to tell people how you feel, because it will destroy you're friendship/relationship, so you bury it deep inside yourself where it destroys you.

Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix

Who do you think you're fooling?

You're Not Alone In This World I Promise.

Do you ever just feel like you have no control over your head, and that it just feels so messed up in there that it gives you a headache? and it just hits you in waves of 'bollocks I'm messed up' and then it dies down for a few hours, days, weeks, sometimes even months? Do you ever just break down, or cry and you feel like the world doesn't make sense and then you start hyperventilating, and you don't know what to do with yourself? and then you think 'damn what am I doing with myself' and then you just kinda brush it all under a mat and pick yourself up and get it together and hide behind fake happiness? or is that just me? 

It can't just be me haha....I feel like we all do it. We all suffer from a hidden pain, or a hidden demon, and most of us choose to hide it, and neglect other peoples pain, but sometimes it can get a little overwhelming, and all you want is someone there for you at the end of the day to hug you and tell you its going to be okay and that they believe in you and that its okay to not be strong 100% of the time because no body is perfect. Just know that its okay to cry and to confront your fears because your not alone no matter how isolated you feel, and that if you ever have an issue, I'm all ears, and so are your friends and family. I have been down those dark alleys so many times, and Ive lost trust with 2 people I thought cared for me the most, I know what it feel like. You're not alone. No one is. I Promise.  

Sometimes We All Need A Little Faith, And Prayer.

a few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seems so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life so far on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the easy its meant to be.

its become such a rarity nowadays to find somebody to fall in love with and stay in love with. People seem to forget how beautiful it is to grow old with someone, to build and witness someones progression and to conquer obstacles as a team instead of facing them alone. I guess it's safe to say there's not enough thrill in that for them. There's no thrill in comfortability and knowing someone like the back of your hand. I guess thats why you can say I'm an old soul. I don't need to go out all the time and switch people up every other week to fulfill my boredom with temporary happiness. I always wanted something real, someone so genuine that they're worth lasting a lifetime with. Someone who's willing to invest the time and effort that's needed to win instead forfeiting when "theres no coming back". I understand its nearly impossible nowadays to count on someone with all your heart and soul. It's more dangerous, if anything, but I guess thats why you can count on me as one of the rare ones. I'm not just in it for a reason, season or lifetime...I'm in it for all 3 - Melissa Molomo

letter to myself

It’s okay to feel lonely, as long as you understand that the loneliness does not define you. It’s okay, as long as you understand that  the absence of someone special in your life is not an indication that you are not worthy to be loved.

It’s okay to cry and feel sorry for yourself. As long as you don’t wallow in self pity. Be kind to yourself, but respect yourself at the same time.

You’re only human and the need to love and be loved is a very human need.

Prepare for the worst; hope for the best. Capitalize on the present.

93% of things you worry about don't even happen.

There are still many things to be done to prepare for the future. And there will be many possibilities along the way. There will be many lessons, too.

Watch the world. Maybe, someday, you’ll find, to your pleasant surprise, another pair of eyes looking and smiling back at you.

....

I've been thinking about this a while...what is love? See to me, love isn't a perfect relationship between two perfect people. I've been thinking about this a lot while I've been feeling homesick I think love is choosing to stick by someone's side even when everything goes wrong. It's choosing to stay with them because they make waking up every morning a little more bearable. It's when you can be sarcastic with one another and get mad for six seconds but then get over it because you secretly like it. It's when they're stubborn every hour of every day yet you put up with it anyway. It's when they fix their eyes on you and its enough to calm you down. it's when they're brave enough to hit you because you're treating them wrong. It's when they're there through everything no matter what, and at the end of the day, despite whats happened. Thats love to me. It's no fairytale but It's something alright.

Going Home.

I've traveled a considerable amount in the short 17 years I've been on this planet, and I've gotten to visit places and see things that most people don't get the chance too, and I am very grateful for every opportunity I've been given. However I can honestly say that I have never been more excited about a trip my life than the fact that this time next month if all goes to plan, I will be back on English soil, with my childhood friends and family that I haven't seen in over 2 years, just the thought of it makes my tummy turn and I get a tingly feeling all over, like my skins itching with excitement. I can't wait to wake up at my best friends house with 3 of favorite people, and have a proper english breakfast and a cuppa tea with the BBC news playing on the TV. I know that doesn't sound overly thrilling to most people, but going home isn't about seeing all the crazy things (yes I'm looking forward to that too) but its about the little things that i can't do in America and treasuring time with the people around me. I can't wait to go to Scotland and see my family, and share a heartfelt hug with my Grandma and Gramps. I can't wait to eat a mars bar, and have some good ol fish and chips down the sea front looking out on to the isle of wight. I just can't wait, and the excitements getting a little too much...oops haha, and I get to show someone who's never left the country a whole new culture and life style and that to me seems like its going to be an adventure on its own. I get to show my country off and experience it through and outsiders eyes. So I'm counting down the days...I'll see you soon.

Travel Is...

Travel is little beds and cramped bathrooms. It’s old television sets and slow Internet

connections. Travel is extraordinary conversations with ordinary people. It’s waiters, gas station attendants, and housekeepers becoming the most interesting people in the world. It’s churches that are compelling enough to enter. It’s McDonald’s being a luxury. It’s the realization that you may have been born in the wrong country. Travel is a smile that leads to a conversation in broken English. It’s the epiphany that pretty girls smile the same way all over the world. Travel is tipping 10% and being embraced for it. Travel is the same white T-shirt again tomorrow. Travel is accented sex after good wine and too many unfiltered cigarettes. Travel is flowing in the back of a bus with giggly strangers. It’s a street full of bearded backpackers looking down at maps. Travel is wishing for one more bite of whatever that just was. It’s the rediscovery of walking somewhere. It’s sharing a bottle of liquor on an overnight train with a new friend. Travel is “Maybe I don’t have to do it that way when I get back home." and thats exactly what I intend to do. 

"I beg young people to travel. If you don’t have a passport, get one. Take a summer, get a backpack and go to Delhi, go to Saigon, go to Bangkok, go to Kenya. Have your mind blown, eat interesting food, dig some interesting people, have an adventure, be careful. Come back and you’re going to see your country differently, you’re going to see your president differently, no matter who it is. Music, culture, food, water. Your showers will become shorter. You’re going to get a sense of what globalization looks like. It’s not what Tom Friedman writes about, I’m sorry. You’re going to see that global climate change is very real. And that for some people, their day consists of walking twelve miles for four buckets of water. And so there are lessons that you can’t get out of a book that are waiting for you at the other end of that flight. A lot of people — Americans and Europeans — come back and go, “Ohhhh.” And the lightbulb goes on.” - Henry Rollins

Marry Your Best Friend!

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kinds of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Someone who at the end of a bad day, you can't wait to come home and see, knowing that they'll know exactly what to do to put a smile on your face, whether its laying on the couch talking or eating ice cream watching How I Met Your Mother in bed. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there for you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the water gets deep and dark.

I'd do ANYTHING to be able to promise my future kids that their dad will always be in their life and they will never have to be those kids that say "my parents are divorced" or "oh i'll be at my mums this weekend."

Being A Girlfriend

Being a girlfriends not just about being beautiful and attractive for your guy. Its not about letting him chase you, letting him do sweet things every time you're mad at him and not just receiving flowers and gifts during your anniversaries. Its not about doing those girly things just to get his attention and not just about feeling mighty every time he did everything you want. Its also being an emotional partner wherein you support him in every opportunity that he takes, you appricate everything that he does for you and you thank him for doing it, you remind him on the things he must do and what he must not. Just because you know that you can always keep him on his feet doesn't mean you can manipulate him. You understand him not just as a partner but as a individual too. You help him in every way showing him, that in a relationship, theres no 'I' or ' You" theres only "we" and "Us'. you know also that a man has their ego, and even when he becomes a little irritating sometimes, you still understand that its part of his nature. A girlfriend is just not a term, it also has responsibilities that every girl must know. You're a friend, sister, a second mum, a teacher, an a best friend. 

At The End Of The Day

At the end of the day, all you need is someone to hug you and tell you its okay, and that they believe in you.

The Dream

 its that time now...everyones off leaving for college and moving ahead with their lives, I can't wait to start either, but before I can I need to find myself...I know how cheesy and weird that sounds trust me.. saying it makes me cringe a little myself, but honestly I don't feel 100% me, I can't help but feel like there is something missing, and I can tell you now its not a person or thing that I am missing. it feels like so much more than that.
I have this empty pit where I have the craving to just leave and travel....

Most people take this as I want to keeping moving forever, but honestly I can't wait to settle down, I can't wait till college is over (not that I can't wait for college..its going to be insane) and I can start my life officially, where I have a nice job...that I enjoy of course.. and get married, and have kids. I can't wait to just start doing life, I feel like up until now everything we've done has been in preparation...crappy preparation but preparation nonetheless for the life ahead of us. And I just can't wait to hold the steering wheel to my own life. whether I am in Alaska or not, I know for a fact that I want a little log/lake cabin house...I have my whole house planned out..as seen below.

I'm not really sure where I was going with this....

little late night rant to clear my head.

Don't assume kids. Don't change yourself based on your assumptions, don't do what I did. 

Assuming what someone does and doesn't like is one of the worst kind of assumptions you can make,  but even after you've done that the worst thing you can do is change yourself based on what you think they do or do not like; because once you've changed (even if its temporary), once they see that side of you, its hard for them to see the real you, and even if they do see the real you, they think the real you is the fake you and that's when it gets messy. 

It can lead to fake relationships, you can be stuck in a cycle with someone for weeks or months or maybe even years. It can make you feel used, but in reality that's what you may of betrayed to them when you showed the changed you. 

For example: if you think a guy that you like, likes girls that party and have sex, based on their habits that you've observed, and you change in the girl you think he wants, and then he ends up liking you but not for those reasons, but you think he just wants the sex because its the fake you that you are around him and others at parties, then things are going to get messy. Neither of you are going to want to discuss your feelings, or be your true selves in front of each other, because you are both assuming what the other person wants, when in reality it could turn out that you really want the true same thing but you're both lying to yourselves and each other. 

Relationships now a days seem to be based off of sex and sexual favors, and its becoming tiring, its becoming increasingly difficult to find a guy that's down to just kick back and watch a good old movie and cuddle, or a guy that wants to go to the movies ...and actually watch the movie..I'm not saying the cute holding hands or head resting/ snuggling shouldn't happen because it most definitely should. Or a guy that initiates hanging out like bowling...good old fashioned bowling with a little witty competitive banter. heck, a guy that will actually work out with you and not feel embarrassed by all the other people there. Honestly anything is great, late night walks with no destination where you can just talk and lay under the stars and talk about the universe, or all night drives holding hands and singing to old country songs and then pulling up to an early morning breakfast place where you're the only ones there sat in a little booth at the back scoffing down warm fresh pancakes....blimey I'm making this sound all note bookish.. point is whether its a fancy dinner where he pulls out your chair and holds open the doors, or just laying in bed in your PJ's watching trailer park boys, cuddling, it doesn't matter, it shouldn't revolve around sex. don't get me wrong sex is brilliant but it should be what the foundations of the relationship are based on, think next time before you assume, because otherwise you might just end up losing them. okay rant over, had to get that off my chest... goodnight. xx