You're Not Alone In This World I Promise.

Do you ever just feel like you have no control over your head, and that it just feels so messed up in there that it gives you a headache? and it just hits you in waves of 'bollocks I'm messed up' and then it dies down for a few hours, days, weeks, sometimes even months? Do you ever just break down, or cry and you feel like the world doesn't make sense and then you start hyperventilating, and you don't know what to do with yourself? and then you think 'damn what am I doing with myself' and then you just kinda brush it all under a mat and pick yourself up and get it together and hide behind fake happiness? or is that just me? 

It can't just be me haha....I feel like we all do it. We all suffer from a hidden pain, or a hidden demon, and most of us choose to hide it, and neglect other peoples pain, but sometimes it can get a little overwhelming, and all you want is someone there for you at the end of the day to hug you and tell you its going to be okay and that they believe in you and that its okay to not be strong 100% of the time because no body is perfect. Just know that its okay to cry and to confront your fears because your not alone no matter how isolated you feel, and that if you ever have an issue, I'm all ears, and so are your friends and family. I have been down those dark alleys so many times, and Ive lost trust with 2 people I thought cared for me the most, I know what it feel like. You're not alone. No one is. I Promise.  

Sometimes We All Need A Little Faith, And Prayer.

a few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seems so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life so far on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the easy its meant to be.

its become such a rarity nowadays to find somebody to fall in love with and stay in love with. People seem to forget how beautiful it is to grow old with someone, to build and witness someones progression and to conquer obstacles as a team instead of facing them alone. I guess it's safe to say there's not enough thrill in that for them. There's no thrill in comfortability and knowing someone like the back of your hand. I guess thats why you can say I'm an old soul. I don't need to go out all the time and switch people up every other week to fulfill my boredom with temporary happiness. I always wanted something real, someone so genuine that they're worth lasting a lifetime with. Someone who's willing to invest the time and effort that's needed to win instead forfeiting when "theres no coming back". I understand its nearly impossible nowadays to count on someone with all your heart and soul. It's more dangerous, if anything, but I guess thats why you can count on me as one of the rare ones. I'm not just in it for a reason, season or lifetime...I'm in it for all 3 - Melissa Molomo

letter to myself

It’s okay to feel lonely, as long as you understand that the loneliness does not define you. It’s okay, as long as you understand that  the absence of someone special in your life is not an indication that you are not worthy to be loved.

It’s okay to cry and feel sorry for yourself. As long as you don’t wallow in self pity. Be kind to yourself, but respect yourself at the same time.

You’re only human and the need to love and be loved is a very human need.

Prepare for the worst; hope for the best. Capitalize on the present.

93% of things you worry about don't even happen.

There are still many things to be done to prepare for the future. And there will be many possibilities along the way. There will be many lessons, too.

Watch the world. Maybe, someday, you’ll find, to your pleasant surprise, another pair of eyes looking and smiling back at you.

....

I've been thinking about this a while...what is love? See to me, love isn't a perfect relationship between two perfect people. I've been thinking about this a lot while I've been feeling homesick I think love is choosing to stick by someone's side even when everything goes wrong. It's choosing to stay with them because they make waking up every morning a little more bearable. It's when you can be sarcastic with one another and get mad for six seconds but then get over it because you secretly like it. It's when they're stubborn every hour of every day yet you put up with it anyway. It's when they fix their eyes on you and its enough to calm you down. it's when they're brave enough to hit you because you're treating them wrong. It's when they're there through everything no matter what, and at the end of the day, despite whats happened. Thats love to me. It's no fairytale but It's something alright.

Going Home.

I've traveled a considerable amount in the short 17 years I've been on this planet, and I've gotten to visit places and see things that most people don't get the chance too, and I am very grateful for every opportunity I've been given. However I can honestly say that I have never been more excited about a trip my life than the fact that this time next month if all goes to plan, I will be back on English soil, with my childhood friends and family that I haven't seen in over 2 years, just the thought of it makes my tummy turn and I get a tingly feeling all over, like my skins itching with excitement. I can't wait to wake up at my best friends house with 3 of favorite people, and have a proper english breakfast and a cuppa tea with the BBC news playing on the TV. I know that doesn't sound overly thrilling to most people, but going home isn't about seeing all the crazy things (yes I'm looking forward to that too) but its about the little things that i can't do in America and treasuring time with the people around me. I can't wait to go to Scotland and see my family, and share a heartfelt hug with my Grandma and Gramps. I can't wait to eat a mars bar, and have some good ol fish and chips down the sea front looking out on to the isle of wight. I just can't wait, and the excitements getting a little too much...oops haha, and I get to show someone who's never left the country a whole new culture and life style and that to me seems like its going to be an adventure on its own. I get to show my country off and experience it through and outsiders eyes. So I'm counting down the days...I'll see you soon.

Travel Is...

Travel is little beds and cramped bathrooms. It’s old television sets and slow Internet

connections. Travel is extraordinary conversations with ordinary people. It’s waiters, gas station attendants, and housekeepers becoming the most interesting people in the world. It’s churches that are compelling enough to enter. It’s McDonald’s being a luxury. It’s the realization that you may have been born in the wrong country. Travel is a smile that leads to a conversation in broken English. It’s the epiphany that pretty girls smile the same way all over the world. Travel is tipping 10% and being embraced for it. Travel is the same white T-shirt again tomorrow. Travel is accented sex after good wine and too many unfiltered cigarettes. Travel is flowing in the back of a bus with giggly strangers. It’s a street full of bearded backpackers looking down at maps. Travel is wishing for one more bite of whatever that just was. It’s the rediscovery of walking somewhere. It’s sharing a bottle of liquor on an overnight train with a new friend. Travel is “Maybe I don’t have to do it that way when I get back home." and thats exactly what I intend to do. 

"I beg young people to travel. If you don’t have a passport, get one. Take a summer, get a backpack and go to Delhi, go to Saigon, go to Bangkok, go to Kenya. Have your mind blown, eat interesting food, dig some interesting people, have an adventure, be careful. Come back and you’re going to see your country differently, you’re going to see your president differently, no matter who it is. Music, culture, food, water. Your showers will become shorter. You’re going to get a sense of what globalization looks like. It’s not what Tom Friedman writes about, I’m sorry. You’re going to see that global climate change is very real. And that for some people, their day consists of walking twelve miles for four buckets of water. And so there are lessons that you can’t get out of a book that are waiting for you at the other end of that flight. A lot of people — Americans and Europeans — come back and go, “Ohhhh.” And the lightbulb goes on.” - Henry Rollins

Marry Your Best Friend!

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kinds of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Someone who at the end of a bad day, you can't wait to come home and see, knowing that they'll know exactly what to do to put a smile on your face, whether its laying on the couch talking or eating ice cream watching How I Met Your Mother in bed. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there for you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the water gets deep and dark.

I'd do ANYTHING to be able to promise my future kids that their dad will always be in their life and they will never have to be those kids that say "my parents are divorced" or "oh i'll be at my mums this weekend."

Being A Girlfriend

Being a girlfriends not just about being beautiful and attractive for your guy. Its not about letting him chase you, letting him do sweet things every time you're mad at him and not just receiving flowers and gifts during your anniversaries. Its not about doing those girly things just to get his attention and not just about feeling mighty every time he did everything you want. Its also being an emotional partner wherein you support him in every opportunity that he takes, you appricate everything that he does for you and you thank him for doing it, you remind him on the things he must do and what he must not. Just because you know that you can always keep him on his feet doesn't mean you can manipulate him. You understand him not just as a partner but as a individual too. You help him in every way showing him, that in a relationship, theres no 'I' or ' You" theres only "we" and "Us'. you know also that a man has their ego, and even when he becomes a little irritating sometimes, you still understand that its part of his nature. A girlfriend is just not a term, it also has responsibilities that every girl must know. You're a friend, sister, a second mum, a teacher, an a best friend.